on the way to work today (i never imagined saying that -- ever!), the sky suddenly began to spit out goldfish. tons of them came pouring down, and i realized that i was talking to myself, saying, "wow. at least they weren't barracudas,".

"that's where you're wrong," a deep voice replied. i looked up and saw superman hovering above me, with the entire justice league in tow. i think i saw captain barbell, too, but i wasnt sure.

"and why is that," i asked. "will the barracudas come next?"

"worse. aquaman has gone insane. so has thor and poison ivy," hal jordan replied. "wait till the dionaea muscipula come."

"what?" a voice behind him shot back.

"he's not referring to you diana," batman said. "dionaea muscipula -- venus' flytraps. im surprised you even know that, hal".

hal wanted to say something else, but cut his own words before he could even sputter anything.

"still better than barracudas, i reckon," the flash muttered.

behind them, another group of costume-clad people barged in. "this is our turf, flyboy," a guy with a round shield said. lo and behold, it was captain america. flanking him were the avengers. hawkeye, ms. marvel, iron man, scarlet witch -- the whole enchalada. damn, scarlet witch is hot. the flash thought so, too. so did batman.

diana gave him a cold stare. "uh, honey, your mouth's open, again. i thought we already talked about this that night i strung you up with my lasso on that apple tree where paris took aphrodite's bribe?"

"anak ng kwago, wala nga dapat kayong lahat dito e," another voice said, and at that point i began to realize the absurdity of it all -- nagtatagalog pala sina superman?

shoving his way upfront, another caped crusader entered the scene. i wasnt wrong the first time i caught a glimpse of him. it was captain barbell, alright.

as he was about to point out why the combined forces of the justice league and the avengers seemed to be out of place in this situation, everything went black.

and so it begins...

"...or not," stan lee says, and summons writers chris claremont, brian michael bendis, and grant morrison to clean up this seemingly mess of a storyline. "i wont have another massive event screw up the marvel universe. my universe!"

then, the barracudas finally fall.

"oh crap. i knew i shouldve stayed home and ate nachos instead," said flash.